It's Not About Prince Charming

Every little girl dreams of the day she will dress up in the fanciest dress of all – a white dress – hold her father’s arm, and walk down that aisle to meet the most handsome Prince Charming. The one with the dark, wavy hair, the eyes that glisten with love, and the big, gentle hands.

And as every little girl grow older, those dreams most likely will get bigger and grander. She longs for the day a prince will come, her prince, and find her so special that he cannot live his life without her by his side.

The fact of the matter is that Mr. Prince Charming often takes his time in coming to her doorstep. Sometimes, more time than she thinks he should…a lot more time.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a young lady say, “I just thought I would grow up, graduate from high school and/or college, and get married. But here I am, several years after graduation, and I’m not married.” So many girls imagine that soon after graduation, the perfect guy will magically appear and they will be married.

When this doesn’t happen, it’s easy to become discontent. “Where is he? What are you doing, God? Am I going to be single forever?” The more time that goes on, the harder it is. Once upon a time, I was in that same spot. On top of seeing friends meet their Prince Charming, my two older sisters were married and I spent a lot of time with them, which made waiting even harder.

When you find yourself in that spot, it may begin to seem like all your friends are getting married, yet no one seems interested in you. Even though it may only be one or two friends who are engaged, it seems like you are the only one that’s not. Each day seems like a battle. You know you are struggling; yet how can you be content when life isn’t going the way you want it to go?

It is at this point when it becomes very easy to begin using the “If only” sentences:

“If only I was dating/courting, then life would be so much easier because I’d at least have the assurance that I was good enough for someone.”
“If only there was a decent guy around…”
“If only I knew what my future held, then I it would make life so much easier.”
“If only I was married, then everything would be wonderful.”

For some, Mr. Prince Charming and marriage can become a sort of “idol”. We want it more than anything else. We feel that having a Prince Charming would solve everything. Or at least knowing if there was a prince out there somewhere for us would solve life’s troubles.

I’m here to tell you that life isn’t about marriage (and Prince Charming). I used to think, “If only I was courting, it would make life so much better…and easier.” But when I began courting, there were only harder things. Yes, there was joy and happiness – don’t get me wrong. What I realized, though, was that courtship only intensified my desire to get married and to know what my future held.

Those of you that know our story (which I promise is coming!) know that due to certain circumstances we courted over a year before we got engaged. That time of my life seemed so much harder than my single years and, I must confess, I allowed discontentment to creep into my heart. “If only I was engaged,” I told myself, “then life would be soooo much easier.” The “if only” thoughts were an easy way out of my “difficult” life. I struggled for a long time with these “if only” thoughts, but all the while God was quietly working away on my heart.

When engagement finally did come, it was exactly like I’d always pictured. It was the thing I’d been wanting for so long. But soon after, the old discontentment feeling slowly came creeping back. “If only I was married, past the wedding, and moved on with life…things would be so much easier.” As the wedding moved closer and Joe and I got to know each other better than ever, God began to open my eyes to something I’d never realized before. My Prince Charming was not going to solve all of life’s problems. In fact, with every joy and added blessing, there always seemed to be another added pressure and trouble.

But what about all the “happily ever after” stories and “wedded bliss” I’d always heard about? Wasn’t marriage supposed to fulfill all my desires and dreams? I would marry, move into a cute little house, settle down, and be a helpmeet to a wonderful Prince Charming for the rest of my life. No more waiting, no more wondering, no more struggling, no more dreaming. Wasn’t this the way it was supposed to be?

I’ve been married for almost 8 months and, while marriage truly is wonderful, I’m here to tell you that marriage is not the answer. I love being married. I love keeping house…my house. And most of all, I love my handsome Prince Charming, Joe. But has marriage forever solved all my discontentment, waiting, struggling, fears, and desires? No.

No. And it never will. Why? Because there is only One True Prince who will ever solve all my troubles and desires. And that Prince is Jesus. Jesus is the only perfect Prince, the only One who can carry all of your burdens, feel all your pain, know all your joys, and listen to you at all moments. He loves you more than any Prince Charming ever could.

Marriage is one of the greatest blessings I have and ever will receive. It brings me more joy than anything ever has. But I have learned that if you don’t deal with the discontentment before you are married, you will be just as discontent after you are married. The “if only” thoughts will come back just as soon as you’re married. “If only my husband was like so-and-so…If only I could have more freedom…If only marriage didn’t take so much work…If only my husband wasn’t away so much...” and on and on the list will go.

Those married women out there know what I mean when I say that life after marriage has a whole new level of “difficulty”. Life is not perfect if you have a husband by your side. There are numerous struggles that come with being a wife…struggles you don’t have when you are single. And not to mention the fact of adding all the pressures of another life on to your own. Discontentment is such an easy trap to fall into.

I want to encourage each of you single ladies out there to learn the character of contentment while you are still at home, still single, still waiting on God. Prince Charming is not the answer. God is the answer. And He is longing to fill up all your deepest desires with His great love.

It’s not about Prince Charming. It’s about the Greatest Prince of all, the Perfect Prince!