Earlier this week I was struggling. Struggling with fear. Fear about the future.I’m not going to lie. Sometimes I find it difficult to be content with my circumstances…
I grew up never having to think twice about whether or not I’d have food for dinner. Now I pinch pennies and live on a $25-a-week grocery budget.Don’t get me wrong. I love being married. I love my life. I love seeing how far we can stretch a dollar.
I grew up in a huge house, on over 50 acres of land, out in the beautiful country. Now I live in a tiny apartment, where we have difficulty finding a parking spot, and I hear sirens, cars and people all day long.
I grew up never worrying about having access to a car. Now I’ve had to learn how to get by with one car for the two of us. (Except for the weeks my Dad graciously allows me to “borrow” a car…)
I grew up being able to go shopping wherever I wanted and buy whatever clothes I needed. Now I have slowly learned that new clothes aren’t a necessity; hand-me-downs from my sisters can be beautiful; and shopping the clearance racks at the end of summer can lend a whole new wardrobe for only a few dollars.
I grew up never thinking about how much gasoline my car used when I drove over 30 minutes to go somewhere. Now I try and stretch a gallon of gasoline in our car as far as it will go.
But sometimes I struggle with great fear about the future. Will I live like this for the rest of my life? Am I always going to have to pinch pennies and live on a very tight budget?
It’s so easy for me to look around at so many other people I know and wish I could be in their shoes. But you know what, when I really think about it, I realize that I don’t want that.
Because I’ve never known and experienced God like I have in the year I’ve been married. Knowing that ultimately it is only by God’s care and love that we live from month to month gives me a reason to pray like I’ve never prayed before. It seems that every time I begin to doubt and fear, God gives me an overwhelming sense of His love and care for us and I am ashamed that I ever doubted Him.
That happened again this week. Some unexpected expenses had come up, my husband’s car quit working, and I was feeling so claustrophobic in our tiny one-bedroom home. I began to worry again. From past experiences, I’ve learned that the best thing is just to take it to the Lord. So that’s what I did.
A simple prayer of asking God to provide for our needs. To watch over us and care for us.God never lets me down. He always surrounds me with peace and comfort and reminds me of all the times He’s provided in unexpected ways. That alone is enough.
But this week, it seemed that God poured buckets and buckets of love upon me. “As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on his children.” (Ps. 103:13) Again and again, I felt His whisper in my ear, “This is for you, My child. I love you. I will never leave you. I’ll always take care of you.”
We sold Joe’s car that the car shop said was hopeless (for $50 more than the amount for which I was specifically praying).And the list goes on and on…really, it does!
God provided 9 lbs of frozen chicken breasts for a little over $15 (and it was the brand I like to buy).
I happened to stop in at Target today and saw that a skirt I had been eyeing for weeks was amazingly on clearance plus I had a coupon (who ever heard of coupons for skirts – well, God gave me one!).
God unexpectedly provided a way to earn extra income this week.
The weather turned beautiful this week…in fact, it was my favorite type of weather: 70’s, sunny, and slightly breezy.
God used several people to be a huge encouragement to me this week.
I am so thankful to be God’s child. My Father owns the entire world and everything in it, so why should I ever doubt that He can and will take care of me?
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills
The wealth in every mine,
He owns the rivers and the rocks and rills,
The sun and stars that shine,
Wonderful riches more than tongue can tell
He is my Father so they’re mine as well.
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills
I know that He will care for me.
The wealth in every mine,
He owns the rivers and the rocks and rills,
The sun and stars that shine,
Wonderful riches more than tongue can tell
He is my Father so they’re mine as well.
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills
I know that He will care for me.
Thank you, Gretchen. This was EXACTLY what I needed today.
ReplyDeleteRenee
I'm right there with you, Gretchen. My husband is in his last year of school, and the ONLY reason we have made it this far is because of God's provision. Every month I battle fears and unbelief, but never has He left us, and He has always provided for us. Thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI love it when wer are blessed. I know the Lord will provide everything we need and more. I grew up not worrying either but my parents did it on credit card debt. We try to live on what we earn and save so while I might not get everything on my wish list I have so much to be thankful for and more than so many others. Your sale was a blessing to me this week. I have eyed your pattern all summer and put it off but
ReplyDeleteI was able to buy it this week and my serger just got fixed so by next summer I'll have a new suit or too. Thank you.
Hello Gretchen,
ReplyDeleteYou will not believe how I came across your blog!
I was searching for someone, and came across a blog listing independent pattern makers. The name of your blog caught my eye and I went to your blog, and the first thing i read was this post. As I read it, I felt like there was someone else going through exactly what me and my husband of two years are going through right now. It brought tears to my eyes when you spoke of how God was providing for you month to month and you wouldnt want to be in anyone elses shoes because u are seeing God's love!
I just want to say thank you so much for sharing this and encouraging me. I felt like I was led by God to this blog and this article!!
Thank you so much and keep sharing your struggles with us!
God really cares doesnt he?
BLessings
simone
Living on a tight budget can be really tough. In the early years of marriage sometimes there is little to live on but love. I'm guessing you and your husband aren't running up big credit card bills as so many young marrieds do. While it's really hard to live on what you earn now, just imagine how difficult it would be to know you were racking up debt (and tons of interest) for things that would be long gone by the time you finally paid it off.
ReplyDeleteI spent several of my early single years living as you and Joe are. I can't help but think what a blessing it is for you to share these times with your husband. While money struggles are hard; they often build a strong marriage.
Take Care,
Trixie
Hi Gretchen. I just happened on your blog and noticed this post and felt compelled to write to you.
ReplyDeleteI am the mother of 4, grandmother of 7 and have been married to the love of my life for almost 41 years.
After years of watching every penny and living paycheck to paycheck we finally got to a place where things were good financially. It became easy to forget what is most important. Not intentionally mind you, it just seemed to happen. Well, God let us flaunder for a bit in the world of materialism but then He grabbed us by the scruff of our necks to get our attention. We lost everything. That normally would sound like a negative, but was actually a positive. We still work hard each and every day and are back to living paycheck to paycheck. Has it been easy, absolutely no. There have been lots of tears and what ifs, but now realize we always had what's most important, a strong marriage, our beautiful family and God on our side.
I now call the past two years a Blessing, it took awhile, but I do believe that. I, too, worry about what may happen if... but trust that God will watch over us as He always has.
You are on the right path, I'll keep you in my prayers and please forgive the lengthiness of this.
God bless. Linda